My Christmas Eve Celebration - Home

After celebration at office & Mcdonald, I have to rush home.
Some of my Cg members have already there to do some of the preparation.

See!! They are so hard work. Indeed, this was also my first xmas celebration at my home. It was really memorable and unforgetable day.

(Adeline and Mee Yian [Mikka's colleagues]) - They have cooked a nice and delicous foods. They have spent many hours to cook and do the neccessary preparation. Thank god for them and their offer make this christmas so special and meaningful.

See the above. Gloria and mikka( My Cg members). They came to my house and help me do the cleaning and neccessary preparation for that night party. Really thank them for their heart. It was not an easy tasks. Well, never heard complain from them. without them, i know my christmas won't be so special and smooth.

The above are the foods of that night..Delicious... yummy~ yummy~

That night, there were a lot of visitors and friends came to my house for christmas eve celebration. Though I don't know them well..but is such a wonderful time we can celebrate together. Was my first time experience to be the host of the house and it was not easy. There was so much things need to prepare.

Frankly speaking, that night i don't think i can cope with it. Well, just do what ever i can. there was too many visitors and i have to go around chit chat with them and mingle around with them. I started to suspect who I am?! It was really not me...so social...so initiave... Well, indeed it was a good try...

Last , After count down, we use our finger to form a star. Beautiful?hehe :)

It was such a memorable day for me. That i shall never forget.

Thank god for everything.

My Christmas Eve Celebration

This was our (my colleagues and i ) first time celebration among colleagues during Christmas eve. Though was considered small celebration, but really warm heart feeling. Never thought that our relationship can grow so deep and close.

Early morning, before boss came in, we quickly took camera shoot. Haha..

Every photo shoot also make us heart attack. For we afraid our boss anytime came in and saw us in post for photo...Haha..so many funny joke and laughter....

(from Left to right - Jen, auntie lim and me).

Jen is my colleague and is my work patner. We share a lot of issues and cover each other work many time. I really thank god for her. without her great support, I think i have burned out early on. Besides her patient, humble, understanding , faithful, responsible and support has always reminded me and taught me of something great. I really thank god for her. Ya, she is my good listener as well. she shares all my joy and sad most of the time.

I learned a lot from her. Surely i believe that this is one of the purpose god put me in this company and let her be my colleague and friend :) use her as a mirror to reflect my attitude and motive. Pray that one day she may come to know Christ as her saviour. Lord continue help me, use me, guide me and open your way for me to outreach to her. committed her unto your hand. In the name of jesus. Amen.

Auntie Lim is our office cleaner.She is nice and simple women.

(From Left to right (Jen, Eve and me)

Eve - I just knew her almost 2 months. At first, our friendship is very awkward. Don't know why. Could be I have builded up the wall to defense myself. However, her openess and initiative really soften my heart. One thing that i need and should thank god, by god grace, the wall within me have been broken off and we can start this new friendship again.

Lord , you know my struggle that time....coz i remeber how i show my black and unfriendly face to her and make her felt difficult. Forgive me father. hope that she will forgive me as well. :)

( from left to right Jen, Sun yue and me)

Sun yue - She is my office neighbour and now she is my friend. We have known each other more than 2 years. These 2 years we have shared a lot of our struggles and encourage each other in each other work area and life. Ya. She is Korean. Her straightforward and trueself character always make me comfortable. not " Act " and wearing" Mask" . She always express how she felt and thought. This layer have broke off many gap and wall in between. This is how our friendship grow as well.

Actually there is another guy called Vince. He is not in the above photo. However, i thank god for him as well. His simple and trueself make us feel comfortable and broke off the defensive within our heart. He always bring along of laughter to us. We sometime will call him "Honey dew". Haha..is Sun yue'e honey dew...Well Hope that one day he came to know christ as well. and pray that one day he will get rid of the dangerous game " race" . For based on what his mention, it had make all my hand hair stand...

I thank god and by god grace i gain all the above friendship. Is such a precious and treasure to me. I pray that they all may come to know you one day. Father, how i wish we all can stand before you and lift up our hand to praise and worship you and exalt your name high. Father, i pray that they may come to know you one day at your perfect timing and accept you as their lord and saviour. I commit these friendship unto you and in the name of jesus i pray. Amen.

Ya Saw the above photo - the "M&M" and "Ferrero Rocher" holding in our hand? Was the gift given by Jen and Eve.

We were too excited and can't wait to have gift exchange in the afternoon time (after work). Finally We have our gift exchange at Mc Donald. See below photo. :)

(We have our celebration at Mc Donald)

Finally the above ( back massage) is the gift i got. ( from Sun yue) Hahaha...lord , you so great, you know i need it and it really useful to me... Father, thank you. :)

Love You, Father.

Love you, My friends.

Survivor - Camp Fire on 31/12/05

Directions for those who are going there by themselves:

Driving:
From Tuas, you will pass by NTU (left handside) along PIE towards Changi.
Exit PIE (Pan Island Expressway) at NTU exit. Drive straight along Jalan Bahar road, you will pass by SCDF Civil Defence Academy (on your left) and a cemetery (on your right). Continue to drive straight along Lim Chu Kang Road. Turn left into Jalan Bahtera road and make a right turn when you arrive at the next junction. You will see the MOE Adventure campsite on your left. Camp Christine is located further down the road on your left.

By Bus/Train:
Nearest MRT Station: NS 4 Choa Chu Kang StationBus No. 175 (at bus stop opposite the station; Choa Chu Kang Ave 4)You may alight at the bus stop opposite the junction of Lim Chu Kang Lane 4 and Lim Chu Kang Road.

Bless us- Father

Tonight have a special Christmas service night and have duty.

Goodness!! All my present haven't bought yet & have wrapped yet and my card haven't written yet. Alamak~ too rush for me...

Hope later take a short 30min to shop for the gifts.
Tomorrow, office here still have gift exchange and i Haven't bought the gift yet. Hope that can grap something before go for duty.

I really pray that i won't be like Martha, busy women until start blaming and complaining. I also don't want to be distracted by business. Quite scary. i found my self slowly fall into this way... Lord really help me..

Lord, heal my sheep(M). may your protection upon her. help her in whatever situation, she will continue dweel in your presence and love.

Lord, bless my another sheep(L). Although she is not with us in singapore but lord i pray for your protection and guidance in her life. grant her a fruitful xmas and lord she will continue remember of your love and goodness.

Lord , bless my CL as well. Grant him his need and delivery him from temptation. Every step, may you guide him through. Lord I pray that his trust and faith will continue be strengthen and sharpen by you. Until no more himself. but only you. God may you continue bless him and protection upon him.

Lord bless my whole cg members, sub- D, unit,my colleagues , my friends, family, relative...all my loved one and myself. Lord we need your blessing. we need your grace and mercy to cover us.

lord may you bring all prebeliever back to you. Grant them a desire heart to know you.

Lord thank you.

may you continue soften and open my heart toward you and only you.

I fully uphold everyone, and everything unto your hand. in jesus name i Pray. Amen. :)

shopping 1 - Xmas season

..Jingle bell~Jingle bell~ jingle all the way..

..Silent night ~ holy night...

Christmas songs can be heard anywhere now...
and this season is just around the corner.

Everyone is busy to shop for presents, buying new clothes, attending party and having celebration. I like christmas very much. Christmas is a special day and always give people kind of peace and holy feeling..

Tonight have to shop for present again. Yesterday, I just bought few cups as door gifts for christmas eve party. Gifts are too heavy for me and I don't think I can carry all. So have to break it into 2 parts to shop.

Yesterday, while i shopped at value $1 shop, I was really excited.

Christmas card only at S$1.05 for 5... and all cards were very special and sweet. The rest of the items all have decreased the price....how can i stop to shop!! ... So many cheap and beautiful things surrounded..

Today, also is my last day "ceong" to shop for presents. Else no more time to shop and wrap...I haven't written the card and wrap the present yet...tonight will be a busy night.

Roller Blading on 17/12/05

Changes

Time flies...
Week after week ...
Now only 2 weeks left then come to the end of this year 2005..

After reading some of my bro and sis blogs, it somehow make me felt burden and heavy. Now everyone like started to count down ... and do some evaluation of yr 2005 and resolution of yr 2006..

haha... May's words still hanging in my mind...She said," gy, i have to start to do the planning liao.." I plan to buy..., plan to change.., plan to visit some place...

This gal instead have grown up..started to plan her own life, started to find her own goal and direction in her life...Glad to see her always learn to look at the positive side now.

People will change, environment will change, things will change.
Everything is like changing so fast and in a second everythings is like no longer in its old style, way ...

While I think through,it is quite scaring...can't everything remain the same?... can time run a bit slow? well, i know it is impossible. May be the changes is constant, therefore people will even more treasure and cherish of what they have and enjoy it..

This year 2005, i knew i have gone through many things and many is not in my expectation.
when i start to review my life... i really don't know how to come to this stage...

To review and evaluate my live of this year and next year planning ...

I think i need to find a quiet place and spent more time with my darling ( jesus) to think through and review... :) ...

Finally - Special Case

Before i forgot, i better drop it down...

I really don't want to forget this blessing and i pray that god will deepen my love in him..and always remember him and his goodness...

Before the surgery, that few days i was struggling and started to put more concern and awareness to my health condition. .To make sure my body was in good condition to do operation..

I don't want to delay the operation...I wished everything will go on smoothly.
Thank god for giving me so many bros and sis to take care of me, pray for me, remind me and teach me.

Lord, you know that i can't face it alone, right?! You know me so well...

Lord, you know that my emotion will shake my faith once again..therefore you used shepherd/leader/meeting/sermon/songs to teach and remind me continue trust in you and depend on you...

Lord, thanks for your encouragement...

Lord, i thank you for your presence and protection. I m sorry for my lost focus in you and forget give thanks to you..

Finally the operation is over.

It was really a smooth operation. i believe it was your healing hand and protection upon me.
The moment i woke up. It was not as how I thought or felt( bad experience) . No flame on my throat. No difficult breathing..

Thank god and praise the lord..

So touched by my sis and bro+ leader who took leave and time off to take care of me. I knew time is precious. But they 're willing to sacrify their time though it could be small to them but to me is big sacrifice. In my heart, I really thank god for giving me such a brother and sister and family.

I thank god for everything.

I got one week hospitalized leave. Sorry lord. My attitude was wrong when i knew i only have short days of mc. I was angry and worry. I didnt put trust in you. On that time all my mind was thinking of how to get mc or extend. I know I should give thank to you instead of spending time blaming and worrying.

I know my attitude and motive was wrong. I should think of rest well and speedy recovery instead of worrying and blaming. My motive should be "get more rest" instead of " no need to work". This wrong motive make me struggle and fall into blame..

However, lord i give thanks that clear my mind and help me to understand and realise my wrong motive and attitude else i don't think i will have a peace and good rest during this mc period.

Lord, i thank you that at last you grant me another 9 days mc more than i expected. I know i have to precious these 9 days and make it more fruitful.

Lord, thank for giving me more days to rest and recover.

Thank God for your grace and love....

Father, continue keep me close to you...and free me from blaming and complaining attitude.

I pray all these in the name of Jesus. Amen..

Prayer meet-Bukit Merah

Yesterday, it was a powerful prayer meet ( church level ) i have.

Especially that black out that period....

Before that though we were praising and worshipping but I found myself so easily been distracted.

Distracted by the surrouding like screen , pnw leader, people on stage ,..the building...


Wow ...so many thing that distracted me and i found hardly to focus...

I tried to focus back by meditating on the songs..but my eye couldn't stop to see and observe how pnw leader lead ..

Thank god at that moment took way all the distraction and in the darkness
so that i can stay focus in worship and pray. Wow!!~ God know my condition and on the spot he help me through.... Ya, Nothing I want to see but one (god) ; In the pray, i thank god he renewed me. He renewed my passionate to him and his people;He renew my desire and heart. Yes, Lord I want an undivine heart and one desire . That is you!!

Through prayer, I know i shouldn't be fearful ; shouldn't be doubt of his goodness. For he Love me and died for me so that i able to free from eternal death. Because his alive and live, I can face tomorrow. My future and life is on his hand.. on his safety, mercy hand.. He save me because he love me...

That two powerful wordship songs ( come holy spirit and holy spirit rain down) really refresh my mind, soul ,spirit, mental, emotion...These two songs had reminded me -- so many time i used my own understanding and strength to see and solve the things/problems..and how long i didn't partnership with Holy spirit??

To have greater understanding and experiencing of the power holy spirit is to dwell in Holy spirit and obey holy spirit..but how many time did i really spend time listen or I just igonre or didn't even ackowledge him(his existance)?

Lord, i really pray in all kind of situations, help me to rely and obey the holy spirit which is given by you.
Help me growth in experiencing and relying on Holy spirit. i know through this I can walk and even walk further...Father, is your spirit, i need and want to listen to. Father, help me throughh and open my eye, ear, heart to see, listen and obey...

Lord, Help me not to forget about your goodness and always renew my heart with thanks giving and love. Help me always acknowledge you in all my way...

Abba Father, I give thanks to you for yesterday prayer meet that you have stregthen my faith, hope, trust and love once again. Father, thanks for loving me and because of your love you enable me and teach me to love others (like you).

Lord, I pray and give thank in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen :)

Security

Tuesday- 8/11/05 evening

In the office,taking a break..supposingly knock off...
Still not yet want to go home...searching the internet, reading and sending email,..thinking how is today...

Come to the blog , just want to drop down my feeling once again.

Daily, weekly, monthly passing by.
Don't know why, i am getting more concern how my days passed by...
Just feel like time run so fast..just in a second come to another year, in a second age catching up, in a second, people and things around change unknowingly and tremendously...

Sometime i would like to pause myself to think, to see the pass, present and future....

Life is really unpredictable..as i always like to mention..
Life is like adventure...facing level and level of task to archieve satisfy, success, goal..
So far along this run...did i really miss out something in my life ...did i lost of my adventure excitement/ spirit ...or in the other hand, did i archieve unexpected blessing, satisfy, goal and success..??

Well there are so many unexpected in the life.. may it be good or bad...
Sometime will feel quite scaring...all these uncertainty like no end...
Well ..when look into it...life is like that...that's why call "life"...

Whatever, thank god for walking with me and be with me...else i really no dare to imagine how my life will be... and how i face this world ...

Step by step walk according his footprint... so secure.
ya..only him can give me secure and i can find secure in him.

Really pray that i will never walk out of his foot print...
Father, up hold unto you once again...thanks for loving me and be with me...

FruitFuL WeeK

Another week.....
Last week really a hectic but fruitful week..

Last whole week, is a busy week. Me and my 2 sisters (T&M) Shopping for wedding dinner dress. Shopping (on Sun-nite, Wed-night,thurs-noon, fri-nite), .. attend the Celebration of (carole) Hen's and (james) Bachelor's night(on Tues), .. paradise live worship concert (on Thurs-night)..then following with their wedding on sat(whole day) .....

Wow!!! wat a special week I have ...Thank god made my week so fruitful, colourful and memorable...well, I was so glad to see both of them ( my dearest sis and bro) finally stepping into another chapter of their life... I believe god will continue guide them and bless them...

At last, the shopping week is over... :P Now i was realised last min shopping for the dress really stress and not much enjoy...however, finally I found the dress for that day...

This week ... could be another fruitful week for me...
May god lead me thru.....

life

Ya...yet one thing is sure, life is like mirage and it is only the creator of it
that has the solution to it's untold mysteries......

This week-need list

Another week...
Time really flied...

So many thing happen in my lives..
day by day passing by .... daily facing different people, circumstance...
How i wish i will not live under the control of the situation or people expectation...
How i wish i can be a joyful girl...despite all the circumstances.


Thank god for this morning. Thanks for refreshing my mind, my soul, my heart, my spirit.
Thank god for the sunshine...it make me feel glad, hope and strength.
Thru the nature, lord you comfort me...

Lord, this new week i pray for a new and good start.
Lord, this new week i pray for the full strength.
Lord, this new week i pray for your protection.
Lord, this new week. i pray for healing.
Lord, this new week, i pray for joy, peace and love in you.
Lord, this new week, i pray for the trust in you.
Lord, this new week, i pray for the hope.
Lord, this new week. i pray for the freedom from my stronghold.
Lord, this new week, i pray for courageous.
Lord, this new week, i pray for your presence.
Lord, this new week, i pray for your encouragement and comfort.
Lord, this new week, i pray for wisdom and knowledge.
Lord, Restore me...
I need you...

and teach me to give thanks even in the situation i can't see..

Lord thank for remind me, i am weak in you but be strong thru you.

lord, uphold all my loved one to you...
My family, relative, friends, church mates, c0lleagues..and others ..unto your hand.
May your salvation fall upon them...and may they themselve can experience your
love, joy , peace and your presence and power.

Lord, thanks for your grace. I pray and fully uphold everything unto your hand.
In jesus name, I pray . Amen

UNCERTAINLY

Finally, I come back to blog again...

Today, my marketing Director have terminated my sales manager with immediate effect. What a shock to me... is so sudden..and I can see their both face each is in a different color...

My Sales manager have fight the battle in our company almost 5 years+. I can't deniel his hardwork and perseverence. However, my both director and manager have their own way doing their sales and followup, each can't comprise and finally end up with this unhappy result.

It was quite sad to me. I have been joinedthis company already 2 year plus. I know my sales manager quite well, and we are helping each other many time. He was such a helpful work-partner and i know he had changed a lot and have put a lot of effort in his careeer. I know he love the job and he need the job. However, theway he's doing sales still can't meet my diretor demand...

This incident let me see the life is so uncertainly, may it be the job...
What ever we have in our life...

This few weeks, the word"uncertainly" is just surrounded me, prompting me...
Uncertainly of life, career, study, future...

How am i going to face all these uncertainly in my life?
I know i am the one who easily been discouraged, disppointed...
A lot of time i am too focus to the circumstances, people, expectation, my own understanding, ...

I know i need to learn.
In this unpredicatble life, I know how weak i am. I can't do anything to change the thing.
but I know in my weak, i got god that make me strong.
I know man will fail me many time even myself but god will never. He is so faithful.
In my weak i know He, my god is my only hope and the one i can put my trust to..

Lord, may you restore my hope in you once again. I need your grace and mercy. I need you.
rerfesh me, father. There is alot time i believe of what i see. Help me and forgive me of my unbelieve.

Father, i want to put my eye on you.
continue keep my heart holy and pure, open and soft, humber and teacheble before you.


(Proverb 3: 5-6)


5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Special Case 2

15/10- Finally shifted...at night...
Wah...one lorry full with my stuffs...
Thanks for my brothers help... their offer is a big help for me


16/10 - Morning ,See the doc.... Is the tiring part i ever met...
While doing the ultrasound, the doctor started to scan my breast.
She look serious and asked me few questions whereby my heart have started to shake..
Do you have any family record in breast cancer?
Do you feel pain...

I scare to answer. i am afraid the answer will come out with the result from their face...
Almost half an hour... not the physical pain..( though there are so many uncomfortable) but is emotion and mentally.. I keep on ask god for help, for grace, for mercy... I knew i am weak and i do not have strength at all...I lost, I fear...

especially when doc asked "Do you feel tired? and she answered herself, " I am tired "
Does she know every word and expression of her will infullence me?
I 'm really tired...

noon- comcare
after a snap.. feel better...at least my emotion been refreshed..
continue my day...with comcare....
quite a fruitful day

Evening - when i start to share with sandra and innsiew of my case..
I know my faith have been waiving once again...

Night....

facing fear attack...
I scare.. I am in fear...
So many negative thought just come into my mind..
I have been overwhelmed by fear... I started to tremble...
I am hopeless..I can see the path infront of me..
I am surrounded by darkness..
I started send sms to my shepherd , Ul , gm...to seek help..
laying on the bed, trembling,...waiting...

finally, my shepherd called.
Through the phone, we praise and worship
Through the phone, we pray
Through the phone, she led my focus back to God

My UL called.
I just told her I'm fear... is so uncertain..
I hope that there is someway out...
She assured me I am not alone... i got family with me...
we can't control the future but one step at the time to walk..
If i want to cry..then cry...
If you are fear...is alright, is normal...
She shared her experience...

"His word is the lamp of the feet," strike me very much ...

Finally i cried badly...

on Sun...
i thank god for refresh me...
His songs comfort me...assure me...
His presence is there for me...

and one lyrics strike me is...
we can not do anything to repay,but only thru praises ...

even the paul spirit inspire me...
We are running the race...

I know wherever i go, he will never forsake me..
He will be my strength and i will stand on the rock no matter how darkness of the surrounding of me...
he is my stronghold.

Special case1

Should I write on the blog??
Finally..I decide to put into the blog
May be blog is one way for me to lay down all my thinking, feeling, ...

On 25/9/05 (sat)
I am realised my right side breast have a lump after the check up. That time i really don't know how to react. Not a fear but my mind just blank...well, not much time to think about that, rush to chalet to celebrate and help up my sister tricia. She is waiting for me.

At night have told Josh...my shepherd.

On 26/9/05 (sun)
After breakfast, mandy, lirong and me started to worship god...
I know God is comforting me... He know I try to cover up all my feeling
but he release me and i cry... I felt so uncertainly.
but I remember his grace is sufficient for me.

Evening,I have told Inn siew about my case...she gave me info and offer her help to accompany me...I thank god i can tell her naturally. At least I know someone is there for me.
I am tired...

....Days passed by....

never thought of the sickness....
may be too busy with some other things....
or too tired to think...a hectic schedule...

but realised something change...
My emotion started flow up and down....frustrated, angry easily.
What happened to me. Especially in cg on 29-9 , I realised
my heart have closed up... I showed unfriendly face to my care group members

I feel bad..but the emotion is so strong....don't feel want to talk to them
after cg just want to left the place...

on 6/10-- -
After combine cg, when meet up them at maxwell...
the emotion come again...I really feel bad
i know i have been affected cg...
along the way,..i feel sad. Grieve.
I know is HS. He grieve of my react.
what happen to me? how?
Last, i m realised my bitterness spirit grow...

I know I shouldn't...at night i pray through....
use kelly lessons " freedom of christ" to renounce of the sickness, struggle, fear, bitterness..
Thank god for the lesson.

7/10
I know i should appologize to tricia. I send her sms...
i want to believe what i pray...i want to believe God...

8/10
I met my sheep...accompany her doing the blood test to test tyroid...
half a day gone ..give myself a snap...
Sleep almost from 5pm to night

9/10
Start to busy with planning desmond birthday

10/10
help my friend buy baby stuff

11/10
Arrange mover.
meet with GM at AMK
to do the breast check out - and arrangement appointment for ultrasound
which is yearterday. the doctor look serious. after seeing doc, I sense the seriuos
of my case. I know i have to face it. I know is a time to think about it.

Though my heart and mind been bombak once again. Thank god for Gm accompany me.
Though she didn't talk much about sickness but she remind me of god grace.
Actually we are so fortune of what we have. We are blessed one.
I am agreed. indeed is true. nomatter how strong is the wind or storm, i know i have one big family that they continually keep me in prayer. they Pay concern to me and never give me up. they spend their time with me...

Mandy called...her call almost make me cry.. their concern remind me i am not alone..
I thank god for his people. even thank god use his people to encourage me.

Along the way in mrt, sudddenly the fear attack..
the voice come to my mind...
My mum case come to my mind again.
The sad word, the uncertainly.. dug out all my fear and make me hopeless...
The fear come again. ..

I sent sms to shepherd need her cover me in prayer. Thank god for her accompany.
At least can drag my attention out from the fear situation.
She talk and share with me...
just stay focus to god...she talk about eternal life..
thank god through the sharing and prayer, i have released from the fear...

I shouldn't live in fear but face everything with strong and courageous
he is good and is with me.
I have to believe..and trust...
he will back me up..

Shelter

Finally, I have found a place to shift. Is a Desmond's uncle house.

Thanks God for providing me a place that is quite centrelised and some more is nearby market and my working place. It will be a new start for me. I have stayed at Tampines almost 5 years, I have used to Tampines and even the market, shopping mall there. Now, I have to start all over again. ( I means the direction and environment)

Well, quite excited is I can invite my friends to this house for fellowship. I can have my own private space. I can decorate my room more comfortably. Well, I also know that I have to be more self discipline and not abuse the resources given by my heavenly father.

Anyway, finally the case of shifting almost come to the end. Thank God for his deliverance and throughout this shifting case, i learned something valuable lessons.

Thank you lord :) ....

LOVE???

This few weeks, I don't know why...my body so aching...always feel tired.
It could be overtired and not enough rest. It could be others reason as well.

Sometime I wonder. Even try to figure out what make me so tired!!!!
Even early morning, I already can feel the tiredness....
If I continue like that surely I will lost all my focus one day... and sleeping will become my main focus. If I continue like that surely i won't have any motivate for learning any new things in my life and if continue like that surely tiredness will effect my spiritual walk and mental as well...

Daily I wake myself up and drag myself to work..and continue my daily task.
I keep on telling god..."Father, I am very tired!! I need you!! Need your strength for the day!!!"; sometime I will tell god " I can't take it any more" , " I can't!!" ; sometime i tell god " I want to sleep!! sleepy"

Thank god everytime i can express my uncomfortable to him and prayer always been answered. Thank god to be my listener if not i really don't know how? hehe...


LOVE

Thank God for his yesterday love messages. Somehow when KL tought about true love of god, it really refresh me. We always always forgot God's love and sometime our understanding of his love is too shallow... ( indeed i confessed I am)

" God delight us. HE delight what we do. He is watching us. He like to see us enjoy life so that our life may shine and glorify him. isn't need? Why sometime we like to make ourself to live in miserable or unhappiness... why i always like to allow many things in my life hindrance me from experience his blessing,joy...


" God pay full attention. He know my emotion, feeling and needs. So many time did we really tell every true feeling of us ( may it be bad or good) to him and only him? or we just act like nothing? like pharisee in the bible? Denial our own feeling? I am not robot, but human, created by god, I believe only HIM ( My High Priest- jesus) can identify my feeling, and i want to tell him my every single feeling" .. indeed it is so great. who can 24hours pay attn to you? Besides god, I believe no one else. He always available and faithful.


"'Ask God - He is provider"
Continue ask him and tell him what you want.Tell him your desire. Just like child ask from his father. Surely He will deliver if it is best for us at his perfect timing.

I remember I have been asking him :-
" Lord, I want to learn how to pray"
" Lord, I want to learn how to speak in Eng, communicate in eng"
" Lord, I want to learn to sing a worship song "
" Lord, I want to have sheep"
" Lord, I don't want to live in fear"
...Everything that i asked, have been come true.Although is not happened at that moment. Monthly, yearly, the desire and trust keep me believe that all the above request will come true one day. Indeed it is!!!

Praise the Lord!!!

But now~~
How long I have stopped asking him? I can't remember..or am i not dare to ask him anymore??"
Or i scare to come out from comfort zone?? It could be....

" Love = GIve & serve "
"This really need a lot of sacrifed" - A lot of time, I thought I have given more than i could. But when deeply check with my heart. sometime I 'm not. Sometime I try to do but is with unwillingness heart. why I want to hold back. Since action have been done, my heart still can't convict sometime. why? Hope that with action, my heart can get soften and soften. for me sacrified is really big big effort that i have to work out and overcome. but when turn to another points, i really " pei fu" my god who sacrifice his son for us and jesus who sacrified himself for us." Sacrifice life..not things! How sacrificial he is!!! Aslo because of his sacrificial i able to experience love...


" Because of his love he enable me to love others."
" Because of his forgiveness he enable me to forgive other."
" Because of his give he enable me to give."

These three sentences really strike me alot and remind me of His grace.
Remind me because of him " I can do all things through christ who strengthen me "..

I hope may what i learn will truly convicted me and may my life always overwhelmed by his love.

MELT

Really want to cry out...
I think I have overwhelmed by blessings...
All the greetings from my friends, Bro and sis in christ, my cousins..All the calls, sms, emails... have made my heart melt.

Thoroughly Melt! :)

I thank god for his blessing. I thank god for his people. I thank god build up so many friendship for me and I know I am not alone. Friendship will never fade. Friendship is a gift given by my heavenly father. It makes me more treasure what I have.

Father, you know how I felt and how touched I am. You know ..

And I want to pray for everyone of them, I pray that our friendships will grow stronger, deeper and lover. I pray that may our friendships find favour in your eyes. I pray that our friendships will stand at your rock that shall never sink regardless time and circumstances. May our friendships always strengthen by your love.

Father I pray as we continue build up the friendship, may you bless us and help us see in advanced how treasure friendship is and continue use your unconditional love to love our friends and loved one... until we all MelT... :P hehe ...and we all come together and glorified you.. of your love and grace.

HAlleluyah!!! Praise the lord!!

I pray all thesse in the name of Jesus. Amen.

2nd celebration

...Birthday cake...

It was another surprised!
I didn't expect my dearest cg members will celebrate birthday with me last week..hehe..thinking may be this week... never thought and expected, finally received an unexpected celebration from cg bro and sis..
It was a surprise!!

..So warm, so touch, ...by all of them...

...MY DEAREST CG MEMBERS...

(Tricia, Gloria, Lirong, Mika, James, Desmond) ..Another two sis not in below photos ..( Mandy, Lacerena)

Oh! one year older, time flied so fast...I am joining this cg have 1 year already..Indeed it was a really special gift given by god. Last year, he gave me this cg, this family and his people as a presents, haha..he knew my needs... I need a family, bro and sister surround me and support and encourage me... indeed i received. their love, care, encouragement were a big big gift to remind me how real is my God!!!! Father, Thank you!!!

Another year, should be wiser, prettier, and grow deeper in love with God... :)

Lord, I do not know what is ahead of me.. but I pray that along my walk with you, you hold my hand tight, and may you be my only stronghold and strength. As I continue run the race, help me stay focus in you and love you like never before. Lord keep my heart always yearn and right before you.

Father, thank you for loving me untirringly and unconditionally. I LOVE YOU, My dearest Abba father, My saviour and redeemer :)

B'dae Celebration

Oh My god!
What a suprised , you people have given me.... My Heart almost melt....and very touched man!!!! ....

14th September 2005 - Evening 7: 25 pm - Simei East point

... Preparing all the tools for shepherding...

After met up with my sheep, we went to the east point and ..
very unusual she led me to...sakae sushi...??? [..Sure??!! ]
[some more have made reservation... ??..huh?]
Anyway since she had made a reservation,ok i just enjoy..

We looked up for Sushi, Salmon Sahimi...
While We were enjoying the sushi, another two people came..
Oh.."I almost choked, instead i was choked by sushi"...too Shock!
Unexpected!! They were my another sheep and CL...
OH!!!!.... I really don't know how to react!!!

Three of them celebrated birthday with me
It was really an early suprised!... That I never expected!

It Was my first time to have sheeps (my dearest sheep )celebrate birthday with me...
Their heart, their presence was really a gifts... for me..

...With birthday song, cakes(4 pieces), candle,wishes, affirmations, presents.... It was a memorable day that i shall never forget...

Ended up we were the last group that left the Sakae Shop...
Thanks for the autie(s) patiently waiting for us..and may our joy overflowed them as well... :)

Before complain

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain of not having enough
Think of someone who's begging on the street

Before you complaint of being ugly
Think of someone who's actually in the worst of states of life

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and We all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift
Live it...
Enjoy it...
Celebrate it...
And fulfill it.

And while you are at it
give love to someone today

Love someone with what you do and the words you say
Love is not meant to be kept locked inside of us and hidden

So give it away Give Love to someone today!!

You don't love someone because they're beautiful.
They're beautiful because you love them.

It's true you don't know what you've got until its gone,
but its also true You don't know what you've been missing until it arrives!!!

Philippians 4:11

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Philippians 4:12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Proverbs 19:23 The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble

Job 36:11 If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

Acknowledge Sins

Yesterday - combine care group (each groups came from 3 different units)... What a special mixed..

Jun Ming Led the discussion, We discussed and talked about the at the book of Exodus

During the discussion, When we came to the Question of "How does one become pure and holy?" - Strike me most is the Point given by Kelly - ACKNOWLEDGE SINS IN OUR LIVES

Quite true, a lot of time, we have failed to acknowledge sins in our lives? It could be we used to it, may it be part of our nature habit that we don't even know is sins.( we don't recognise sin). It Somehow quite scaring. Can you imagine, we keep on doing the things daily (whereby we thought is right) but we don't even know we are doing the wrong thing all the time!!!! )

She said, our heart is like rubbish bin. Daily we collected rubbish (sins) into heart (rubbish bin) and the more we collected, the more rubbish, dirty and sting you add into your lives. (Rubbish could be unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, hatred, angryness..all these would drag us away from God). For god is holy. We have to learn to clear our rubbish daily. So our heart will be light and fragrance...( confess and repent must do immediately)

Even when jun Ming talked about purity (whiteness) and example given by him was " White paper", it gave me a deeper thought. he said" We are like White paper. The words contain in the white paper can be junk words but it also can be a prove words that beneficial us."

So which one we will choose today?

Of course, I will choose to be a white paper that contains prove word that beneficial me and people and live in a place that comfort, clean…that lead me to abundant life. A life that pleasing GOD, because treasure is there. Right?

New Lessons

Yesterday, after sunday service and all the meeting and shepherding..it was almost 4:30pm..

When I walked toward the mrt, I saw Mount zion bookshop. When I was first step into the bookshop, the song just flowed into my heart...It was a mandarin song. Though I don't know what's the song name . But the music somehow have quiet down my heart, my soul and my mind once again... I have spent almost half an hour there.. It was really a good place for me to buy gifts, cards, books, songs... and quiet down my heart..

Along my way home, there was a lot of struggle and burden ...
After the whole day sermon, meeting, shepherding... the evaluation started!
Holy spirit, my self conscious , myself started to evaluate,evaluate my days, evaluate my heart condition, evaluate my whole week what had I done...spiritual warfare come..
flesh fight with spirit again....

The sermon tought about "Holiness"..This is the only way we can see God.. Am I living a holy life? Where am i? Am I living a life that pleasing god or pleasing man...? what have I done in my life?...what are the sins I have commited and stored...? that hindering me from seeing/listening god...

The shepherding tought about balancing... Did every aspect of my life balance?... Along my life path did I misconcepted the meaning of "balance"? " What is the balance " " how to balance my life", Bible/god's word is a scale ... That are so many things that out of sudden strike me....the questions keep on repeated in my mind...

I decided spend more time alone... I want to listen..
I need to quiet down my self....

Beside the angriness, disappointment came across ..currently there have many things that i cant accept, i can't adapt to... and all along i have struggled in....It reminded me a word in the shepherding during discussion ...what is inflexibility and compromising...

I really pray that there was no bitterness grow...

I prayed that god teach me and help me to let go(surrender).. teach me relax in him.

Even, when I started read spiritual book " how to make a right decision"
The chapter named " legalism -will hinderance you listening from god" somehow strike me very much ..

Quite true, as the editor said," she don't believe we can enjoy life and live simultaneously under the law"
legalism is everyone must do the thing- the same way and the same time.
Somehow it link my thought to inflexibility.
Isn't legalism and inflexibility almost have the similar meaning?

The sentence - "Holy spirit know individual need...and will speak to individual differently.
but the rhema will not against his logos"... method (rhema) could be in many ways but the principle is there...
Jesus come to make captive free...

I am realised i have made many thing in my life legalistic...
If I continue live under the law, i couldnt enjoy and let my life led by holy spirit..
God is so creative, He will speak and led individual in his creative and unique way...isn't need?

Lord help me not to fall into the "legalism" concept like pharisee...
help me and always remind and teach me surrender, let holy ghost led me through ..
help me not fall into the bondage ... legalism
Teach me how to surrender...and help me in this area...
So I may free and led by holy spirit...

I believe it will be new lesson for me..

...SEPTEMBER...

September
was a month that I shall never forget.
My mum gave birth to me.. Little gal born. My life started...
My parents, they loved me very very much ...
they sacrificed their whole life, time and everything ...
to take care of us and ensure my bro,my sis and
me grew well without lacking.... they were a gift from GOD.
~~ Thank you, Abba Father ~~~

September
was a month I came to Singapore, 5 years ago..
Year ... 2000

was My First Time ...
My first time stepped out from Malaysia-see the world.
My first time tasted " home sick"
My first time stayed alone.
My first time worked in foreign country
My first time I missed my family very much

Was Also My first time .... Experienced..
Experienced Different kind of lifestyle, Different kind of cultures,
Different kinds of languages, Different kind of food.. and dealing with different kind of people ...


September
Was a month I received specific encouragement from God
to Share gospel with my mum before she back to
heaven.. 2003
Through one videoclip - God reminded me, do not overestimated myself and underestimated him. That time I was so discouraged. It was very tough for me to share christ with her( my mum)... she was sick... but HE let me know, HE can change all kind of situation regardless of time and people .... Just like video clip showed...He changed the whole country and nation in a short period of time...and all nations stood/walked at the street and worshiped god... HE ENCOURAGED ME.

By God Grace, Before she slept , she accepted christ. She experienced His unconditional love. She experienced his peace...though that's only 6 days she came to know christ. She received gift from God- SALVATION.

September
Was a month My first time exprienced big restructuring in Hope church and joined Desmond's care group Year ...2004
Was a month that I faced a lot of changes. Changed Care Group, Change Shepherd...Suddenly, I felt lonely, lost and fear . There was a lot of uncertainty. Also was a month that I started my new journey in my spiritual walk with God.. Never notice, there was his purpose behind. Father, i can see this whole year how you guided me through , how you tought me, how you brought me through level to level... Indeed, father I saw your purpose behind. You made me grow... and grow..until the day I meet you face to face again..

Lord, Keep me a right heart, willingness heart, soften heart, humble heart and be faithful to you. All these I need ....

Lord teach me to treasure everything that you put into my life.
Lord teach me to honour you and put you highest above all things.
Lord, my shepherd. I will learn to listen and recognise ...your VOICE.


This September...

I look forward every breakthrough you have planned for me..
Lord help me through..... Give me Strength ...
Strengthen my faith ... I just need you..your presence.
" How could I live without you"?

Thank you, father. For your love and grace. ...your child, gaik yee

yUmMy YumMY!!!!

Before I forgot...I better drop it down...

Hehe.. i discovered place for nice foods...





Orchard (area) - Lucky plaza

1. Restaurant Name : Rabbit Brand Seafood Delicacies

Address : 304 Orchard Rd #02-114 Lucky Plaza
Tel : 6737 9722
Operation time : Mon to Fri (11-9pm)
Website :http://www.rabbitbrand.com/pg3.htm (view - menu)

RECOMMENDED :

Okie ...Let me introduce why i picked up this store..
Wah...Cheap and delicious... 1 set meal only cost S$4.90
( of course you can order more.. then you have to pay more lo..)

1 Set meal include rice/noodle , soup, vegie ,desert and drink and you know the option meal majority have some sharkin or abalone, Worth right?!!

Not only worth ... but delicious!! Quality and quantity is there (After yesterday dinner with my colleague, my mind have started target and planned for next meal for next time visit liao..hehe)

Can't wait to bring my auntie, my friends, cg members,church mate, shepherd .. all my loved one to try man!!... yummy ..!! :P

( Ha ..should inform that "Tai tai" worked in CK Tang... hehe.. guess who?)

This place is highly recommended by my colleague... :)