LOVE???

This few weeks, I don't know why...my body so aching...always feel tired.
It could be overtired and not enough rest. It could be others reason as well.

Sometime I wonder. Even try to figure out what make me so tired!!!!
Even early morning, I already can feel the tiredness....
If I continue like that surely I will lost all my focus one day... and sleeping will become my main focus. If I continue like that surely i won't have any motivate for learning any new things in my life and if continue like that surely tiredness will effect my spiritual walk and mental as well...

Daily I wake myself up and drag myself to work..and continue my daily task.
I keep on telling god..."Father, I am very tired!! I need you!! Need your strength for the day!!!"; sometime I will tell god " I can't take it any more" , " I can't!!" ; sometime i tell god " I want to sleep!! sleepy"

Thank god everytime i can express my uncomfortable to him and prayer always been answered. Thank god to be my listener if not i really don't know how? hehe...


LOVE

Thank God for his yesterday love messages. Somehow when KL tought about true love of god, it really refresh me. We always always forgot God's love and sometime our understanding of his love is too shallow... ( indeed i confessed I am)

" God delight us. HE delight what we do. He is watching us. He like to see us enjoy life so that our life may shine and glorify him. isn't need? Why sometime we like to make ourself to live in miserable or unhappiness... why i always like to allow many things in my life hindrance me from experience his blessing,joy...


" God pay full attention. He know my emotion, feeling and needs. So many time did we really tell every true feeling of us ( may it be bad or good) to him and only him? or we just act like nothing? like pharisee in the bible? Denial our own feeling? I am not robot, but human, created by god, I believe only HIM ( My High Priest- jesus) can identify my feeling, and i want to tell him my every single feeling" .. indeed it is so great. who can 24hours pay attn to you? Besides god, I believe no one else. He always available and faithful.


"'Ask God - He is provider"
Continue ask him and tell him what you want.Tell him your desire. Just like child ask from his father. Surely He will deliver if it is best for us at his perfect timing.

I remember I have been asking him :-
" Lord, I want to learn how to pray"
" Lord, I want to learn how to speak in Eng, communicate in eng"
" Lord, I want to learn to sing a worship song "
" Lord, I want to have sheep"
" Lord, I don't want to live in fear"
...Everything that i asked, have been come true.Although is not happened at that moment. Monthly, yearly, the desire and trust keep me believe that all the above request will come true one day. Indeed it is!!!

Praise the Lord!!!

But now~~
How long I have stopped asking him? I can't remember..or am i not dare to ask him anymore??"
Or i scare to come out from comfort zone?? It could be....

" Love = GIve & serve "
"This really need a lot of sacrifed" - A lot of time, I thought I have given more than i could. But when deeply check with my heart. sometime I 'm not. Sometime I try to do but is with unwillingness heart. why I want to hold back. Since action have been done, my heart still can't convict sometime. why? Hope that with action, my heart can get soften and soften. for me sacrified is really big big effort that i have to work out and overcome. but when turn to another points, i really " pei fu" my god who sacrifice his son for us and jesus who sacrified himself for us." Sacrifice life..not things! How sacrificial he is!!! Aslo because of his sacrificial i able to experience love...


" Because of his love he enable me to love others."
" Because of his forgiveness he enable me to forgive other."
" Because of his give he enable me to give."

These three sentences really strike me alot and remind me of His grace.
Remind me because of him " I can do all things through christ who strengthen me "..

I hope may what i learn will truly convicted me and may my life always overwhelmed by his love.

MELT

Really want to cry out...
I think I have overwhelmed by blessings...
All the greetings from my friends, Bro and sis in christ, my cousins..All the calls, sms, emails... have made my heart melt.

Thoroughly Melt! :)

I thank god for his blessing. I thank god for his people. I thank god build up so many friendship for me and I know I am not alone. Friendship will never fade. Friendship is a gift given by my heavenly father. It makes me more treasure what I have.

Father, you know how I felt and how touched I am. You know ..

And I want to pray for everyone of them, I pray that our friendships will grow stronger, deeper and lover. I pray that may our friendships find favour in your eyes. I pray that our friendships will stand at your rock that shall never sink regardless time and circumstances. May our friendships always strengthen by your love.

Father I pray as we continue build up the friendship, may you bless us and help us see in advanced how treasure friendship is and continue use your unconditional love to love our friends and loved one... until we all MelT... :P hehe ...and we all come together and glorified you.. of your love and grace.

HAlleluyah!!! Praise the lord!!

I pray all thesse in the name of Jesus. Amen.

2nd celebration

...Birthday cake...

It was another surprised!
I didn't expect my dearest cg members will celebrate birthday with me last week..hehe..thinking may be this week... never thought and expected, finally received an unexpected celebration from cg bro and sis..
It was a surprise!!

..So warm, so touch, ...by all of them...

...MY DEAREST CG MEMBERS...

(Tricia, Gloria, Lirong, Mika, James, Desmond) ..Another two sis not in below photos ..( Mandy, Lacerena)

Oh! one year older, time flied so fast...I am joining this cg have 1 year already..Indeed it was a really special gift given by god. Last year, he gave me this cg, this family and his people as a presents, haha..he knew my needs... I need a family, bro and sister surround me and support and encourage me... indeed i received. their love, care, encouragement were a big big gift to remind me how real is my God!!!! Father, Thank you!!!

Another year, should be wiser, prettier, and grow deeper in love with God... :)

Lord, I do not know what is ahead of me.. but I pray that along my walk with you, you hold my hand tight, and may you be my only stronghold and strength. As I continue run the race, help me stay focus in you and love you like never before. Lord keep my heart always yearn and right before you.

Father, thank you for loving me untirringly and unconditionally. I LOVE YOU, My dearest Abba father, My saviour and redeemer :)

B'dae Celebration

Oh My god!
What a suprised , you people have given me.... My Heart almost melt....and very touched man!!!! ....

14th September 2005 - Evening 7: 25 pm - Simei East point

... Preparing all the tools for shepherding...

After met up with my sheep, we went to the east point and ..
very unusual she led me to...sakae sushi...??? [..Sure??!! ]
[some more have made reservation... ??..huh?]
Anyway since she had made a reservation,ok i just enjoy..

We looked up for Sushi, Salmon Sahimi...
While We were enjoying the sushi, another two people came..
Oh.."I almost choked, instead i was choked by sushi"...too Shock!
Unexpected!! They were my another sheep and CL...
OH!!!!.... I really don't know how to react!!!

Three of them celebrated birthday with me
It was really an early suprised!... That I never expected!

It Was my first time to have sheeps (my dearest sheep )celebrate birthday with me...
Their heart, their presence was really a gifts... for me..

...With birthday song, cakes(4 pieces), candle,wishes, affirmations, presents.... It was a memorable day that i shall never forget...

Ended up we were the last group that left the Sakae Shop...
Thanks for the autie(s) patiently waiting for us..and may our joy overflowed them as well... :)

Before complain

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain of not having enough
Think of someone who's begging on the street

Before you complaint of being ugly
Think of someone who's actually in the worst of states of life

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and We all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift
Live it...
Enjoy it...
Celebrate it...
And fulfill it.

And while you are at it
give love to someone today

Love someone with what you do and the words you say
Love is not meant to be kept locked inside of us and hidden

So give it away Give Love to someone today!!

You don't love someone because they're beautiful.
They're beautiful because you love them.

It's true you don't know what you've got until its gone,
but its also true You don't know what you've been missing until it arrives!!!

Philippians 4:11

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Philippians 4:12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Proverbs 19:23 The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble

Job 36:11 If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

Acknowledge Sins

Yesterday - combine care group (each groups came from 3 different units)... What a special mixed..

Jun Ming Led the discussion, We discussed and talked about the at the book of Exodus

During the discussion, When we came to the Question of "How does one become pure and holy?" - Strike me most is the Point given by Kelly - ACKNOWLEDGE SINS IN OUR LIVES

Quite true, a lot of time, we have failed to acknowledge sins in our lives? It could be we used to it, may it be part of our nature habit that we don't even know is sins.( we don't recognise sin). It Somehow quite scaring. Can you imagine, we keep on doing the things daily (whereby we thought is right) but we don't even know we are doing the wrong thing all the time!!!! )

She said, our heart is like rubbish bin. Daily we collected rubbish (sins) into heart (rubbish bin) and the more we collected, the more rubbish, dirty and sting you add into your lives. (Rubbish could be unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, hatred, angryness..all these would drag us away from God). For god is holy. We have to learn to clear our rubbish daily. So our heart will be light and fragrance...( confess and repent must do immediately)

Even when jun Ming talked about purity (whiteness) and example given by him was " White paper", it gave me a deeper thought. he said" We are like White paper. The words contain in the white paper can be junk words but it also can be a prove words that beneficial us."

So which one we will choose today?

Of course, I will choose to be a white paper that contains prove word that beneficial me and people and live in a place that comfort, clean…that lead me to abundant life. A life that pleasing GOD, because treasure is there. Right?

New Lessons

Yesterday, after sunday service and all the meeting and shepherding..it was almost 4:30pm..

When I walked toward the mrt, I saw Mount zion bookshop. When I was first step into the bookshop, the song just flowed into my heart...It was a mandarin song. Though I don't know what's the song name . But the music somehow have quiet down my heart, my soul and my mind once again... I have spent almost half an hour there.. It was really a good place for me to buy gifts, cards, books, songs... and quiet down my heart..

Along my way home, there was a lot of struggle and burden ...
After the whole day sermon, meeting, shepherding... the evaluation started!
Holy spirit, my self conscious , myself started to evaluate,evaluate my days, evaluate my heart condition, evaluate my whole week what had I done...spiritual warfare come..
flesh fight with spirit again....

The sermon tought about "Holiness"..This is the only way we can see God.. Am I living a holy life? Where am i? Am I living a life that pleasing god or pleasing man...? what have I done in my life?...what are the sins I have commited and stored...? that hindering me from seeing/listening god...

The shepherding tought about balancing... Did every aspect of my life balance?... Along my life path did I misconcepted the meaning of "balance"? " What is the balance " " how to balance my life", Bible/god's word is a scale ... That are so many things that out of sudden strike me....the questions keep on repeated in my mind...

I decided spend more time alone... I want to listen..
I need to quiet down my self....

Beside the angriness, disappointment came across ..currently there have many things that i cant accept, i can't adapt to... and all along i have struggled in....It reminded me a word in the shepherding during discussion ...what is inflexibility and compromising...

I really pray that there was no bitterness grow...

I prayed that god teach me and help me to let go(surrender).. teach me relax in him.

Even, when I started read spiritual book " how to make a right decision"
The chapter named " legalism -will hinderance you listening from god" somehow strike me very much ..

Quite true, as the editor said," she don't believe we can enjoy life and live simultaneously under the law"
legalism is everyone must do the thing- the same way and the same time.
Somehow it link my thought to inflexibility.
Isn't legalism and inflexibility almost have the similar meaning?

The sentence - "Holy spirit know individual need...and will speak to individual differently.
but the rhema will not against his logos"... method (rhema) could be in many ways but the principle is there...
Jesus come to make captive free...

I am realised i have made many thing in my life legalistic...
If I continue live under the law, i couldnt enjoy and let my life led by holy spirit..
God is so creative, He will speak and led individual in his creative and unique way...isn't need?

Lord help me not to fall into the "legalism" concept like pharisee...
help me and always remind and teach me surrender, let holy ghost led me through ..
help me not fall into the bondage ... legalism
Teach me how to surrender...and help me in this area...
So I may free and led by holy spirit...

I believe it will be new lesson for me..

...SEPTEMBER...

September
was a month that I shall never forget.
My mum gave birth to me.. Little gal born. My life started...
My parents, they loved me very very much ...
they sacrificed their whole life, time and everything ...
to take care of us and ensure my bro,my sis and
me grew well without lacking.... they were a gift from GOD.
~~ Thank you, Abba Father ~~~

September
was a month I came to Singapore, 5 years ago..
Year ... 2000

was My First Time ...
My first time stepped out from Malaysia-see the world.
My first time tasted " home sick"
My first time stayed alone.
My first time worked in foreign country
My first time I missed my family very much

Was Also My first time .... Experienced..
Experienced Different kind of lifestyle, Different kind of cultures,
Different kinds of languages, Different kind of food.. and dealing with different kind of people ...


September
Was a month I received specific encouragement from God
to Share gospel with my mum before she back to
heaven.. 2003
Through one videoclip - God reminded me, do not overestimated myself and underestimated him. That time I was so discouraged. It was very tough for me to share christ with her( my mum)... she was sick... but HE let me know, HE can change all kind of situation regardless of time and people .... Just like video clip showed...He changed the whole country and nation in a short period of time...and all nations stood/walked at the street and worshiped god... HE ENCOURAGED ME.

By God Grace, Before she slept , she accepted christ. She experienced His unconditional love. She experienced his peace...though that's only 6 days she came to know christ. She received gift from God- SALVATION.

September
Was a month My first time exprienced big restructuring in Hope church and joined Desmond's care group Year ...2004
Was a month that I faced a lot of changes. Changed Care Group, Change Shepherd...Suddenly, I felt lonely, lost and fear . There was a lot of uncertainty. Also was a month that I started my new journey in my spiritual walk with God.. Never notice, there was his purpose behind. Father, i can see this whole year how you guided me through , how you tought me, how you brought me through level to level... Indeed, father I saw your purpose behind. You made me grow... and grow..until the day I meet you face to face again..

Lord, Keep me a right heart, willingness heart, soften heart, humble heart and be faithful to you. All these I need ....

Lord teach me to treasure everything that you put into my life.
Lord teach me to honour you and put you highest above all things.
Lord, my shepherd. I will learn to listen and recognise ...your VOICE.


This September...

I look forward every breakthrough you have planned for me..
Lord help me through..... Give me Strength ...
Strengthen my faith ... I just need you..your presence.
" How could I live without you"?

Thank you, father. For your love and grace. ...your child, gaik yee