Come Holy Spirit - by Caroline Tjen

Come Holy Spirit by Caroline Tjen
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Come Holy Spirit, fall on me now
I need your anoining come in your power
I love you Holy Spirit
You're captivating my soul
And everyday I grow to love you more

I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew

Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth

Disappointment

( night)

Dear Father, my abba father, I miss you….I need you …
Lord, forgive me of what I done. …


I have taken 2 and a half days MC, from Monday noon to Wednesday. It was really suffered. Started with high fever, followed by throat infection, followed by cough. However, I thank god for his healing. I remember during I sick, I sms my dear and cg members to keep me in prayer. But many of time I asked people for keeping me in pray. But did I really spend time pray for myself ? I realized starting from first day, I didn’t really pray. Somehow I believe is holy spirit prompting me that, do I have desire to get heal? If my answer is yes, then even in sickness, I should pray & cry out to god and ask for his grace and mercy. Is my responsible to ask God for healing. Even people were intercede for me, but if I myself didn’t ask, am I serious and want to be healed ?? Somehow, this reminds me about my attitude toward God. Lord, forgive me of my wrong attitude.


After 2and a half day fighting with sickness, I have 70%recovered. Thank god for his healing. I go back to work today. But in the early morning I got a scold. This scold make me angry, disappointed, sad & uncertainly.My boss think why we ( me and my colleagues) always get mc and on leave. But do we really always? Does he/she know that the moment we want to get mc or leave, our heart have struggle long time before apply??? We are not purposely, but we are really tired and We need a break!! And we are really sick!!

I have scolded by lady boss badly. Her words really hurt me a lot and discouraged me. She let me felt that no matter how much I work hard, we still can’t achieve her target. We do whatever we can to stablelize office. But we are limited. We only can do our best. And we need balance in our life as well. Do they understand??


I admitted I have missed out a lot of her demands, instructions and work. But I really can’t focus. There are too many things on hand that need to be done. I have lost the priorities, focus and slowly I have lost my motivation. The change of job scope again and again…where is my direction ? in my career path, where should I go ahead?? I really feel lost…before this incident I have given myself two months to consider stay or left…it seem like suddenly there is a strong motivation drive me to choose “left”…

Lord, I really don’t know how, and how to face tomorrow…
I need your peace, strength be with me. Father, I need you . I need you to guide me through and lead me. Father, in whatever situation I thank you for your grace and father teach me to live a life that honour you.

I pray all these in the name of jesus. Amen.

Open to Jesus, My forever friend

tonight -9/3- after SUB D meeting - topic : about relationship...

Worship Session :- .. ~Jesus is my friend and father,....what we need is to remember jesus is my friend and how is my openess? Did i really thoroughly open up myself to him ..? in every single thing and feeling in my life? how long that i have hold back from him? i have carried my pride before him? did i really acknowledge how true how weak i am? or i just acknowledge the surface weakness? did i cry bittery and ask for help , share my every struggle with him??... i have hidden so many from him...that stopped me to fully identify him and acknowledge him of who he is and experience him.

He is my GOD, my creator, surely he know everything in my life, in my thought in my heart...nothing can be hide under his eyes... but do i really thoroughly open up and express out myself to him??... in good and the strife ...

Lord, forgive me. Yes. lord, you are my lord and saviour. No one can know me well than you. Every single thought, things will be reveal openly before you. Lord, therefore i can run back to you as who i am for you can identify me. Only you can identify my struggle, my worries, my anxiety,my darkness points, my disappointment. And only you can refresh me, renew me and empower me. My hope will always in you father.

Salvation come!!

Quite late now, is about 130am.Sitting in front of the computer, just want to drop down my feeling and thinking once again. It was started from yesterday.

Yesterday, was an fruitful and memorable night for me.

Due to some of the reason, my shep unable meet me up for shepherding..thinking nevermind, gave myself a rest at home..however in the afternoon i have received a call from Gm and over the phone, both of us sound very tired and stress up. so we decided knock off on time and met up for dinner. And our dinner is KFC( fried chicken).

Also In the afternoon, my best friend "May" called me. She was in depressed and wanted find someone to share... Finally i have asked her to join us for dinner...

It was a great start. we shared about our life, relationship story..and slowly we have linked our topic to gospel. It was my first time saw Gm evangelised and challenged people and the person she posted challenge was my best friend "Ah May". Though starting, i might have a bit worried for fear to see May response...however I thank god.. May bring out her own point of views/ stands. By her own stand, we now how to come in...

During the whole conversation, i should said, we do our best and everything fully surrender and submit to god. srtike me most was,the challenge " Why not you give Jesus a chance to bring breakthrough in your life" is really challenge statement that stired my passion/ spirit again, whereby the statement behind need so much faith , conviction and trust in god.

Lord, people really matter to you. Help us to see people as how you see. Lord, teach me not to be fear of sharing goodness of you and your love. Because of your love i gain salvation. help me not to fear of human response, LORD, help me not to look at the result but in the process, just
help me to be a faithful worker to plant the seeds. And lord help me really do everything out of love with a great conviction.

Father, i give thank for your salvation and have chosen me. may you continue water "May","My family"," My friend" and " All my loved one" and may the seeds continue grow in their heart in good soil. May your protection upon them and watch over them.

lord, i pray all this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Thank you Lord.

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I simply live for you

This is a song that always remind me about my life purpose in God. In my life, there are many up and down... may it be storm, wind, thunder..

Is Him, my jesus, my lord that lift me up , carry me through. Is he who comfort me and no one that can replace him...

The moment i listen and sing of this song, i remember his goodness, his grace, his love that are so fresh and instead is evident in my life all the time. No matter how Life will be..I know i will never be alone and i know he will never forsake me... I know i only need to live for him not for the problems!

Also I remember his hand always be there for me, that wipe away all my tears . In the darkness point of my life, only him can identify and understand of my struggle..only him that carry me through...
that he will cry with me, comfort me and encourage me..

LORD, i want to continue use this song to remember you and dedicate my heart and desire to you...
I will put my hope in you...for you are my ONLY hope. My light and my path.

Lord , i choose. CHOSE to simply live for you and only you.

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I Simply live for you

Say the word and i will sing for you
over ocean deep i will follow
If each star was a song and every breath of wind praise
It will still fail by far to say all my heart contain
I simply live I simply live for you

As the glory of your presence now fill this place
In worship we will meet you face to face
There is nothing in this world to which you can be compared
Glory on glory praise upon praise

You bind the broken hearted and save all my tears
By your word you set captive free

There is nothing in this world that you cannot do
I simply live I simply for you.


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Challenging week

I should say this whole week was a challenging week for me.
Packed with tight schedule and heavy tasks...

Especially today, i had faced so many interruption in my schedule. I was so disappointed!!!

Supposingly, I have planned to renew my passport and i have asked for 2 hours off from my boss, whereas the moment i reached the Malaysia high commission, they had told me that the operation dept and building have shifted to another place. Besides, their addition info for me was i should go and queue up for number in the early morning of 4am. Man!! 4am le!! I quite shock and disappointed to this news. How am i going to take another 2 hours off from my boss?!!! will they believe me i didn't cheat them for the hours off.. ? Following day, i still need to arrange apply leave for renew passport.. and i still need to wake up early and get the queu no...OH..tired!!..

My heart really felt down.. plus yesterday I had lost my pouch. My favour pouch though is cheap and normal to others...but is the dearest gift from my sis (Tri), also inside contained atm card, $$ ..

However, i should thank God that my important documents, Ic and other cards were not putting together else...i really will cry out..!!!~~~~

I thank god for putting my dear to accompany and encourage me. I also thank god for release the burden from my heart by rememberance of God's grace.

Why should i fear of telling the truth?!! why should i fear of my boss, his reaction? i am not living for them but for God!! and why i allow myself to carry on this unneccessary worries? ...this is not what god want me to live.. and everything in our life there is not in our control..why should i take it so hard?!! can't i trust God? can't i believe that he will make a way for me...??

God remind me once again of "Surrender". It was my yesterday lesson to my shep. Instead this was a good lesson for me now that i will learn to put my trust and surrender to him once again.

Though in the office, the interruption still continuous ..eg..pc hang, window corrupted, lost data.. i thank god for his grace that he gave me perserverence, calm to go through the daily tasks. HE also grant me a helper to lighten my work load.

Father, today what ever happen i really want to acknowledge you and praise you. Lord help me and teach me to surrender all my things unto you. May you restore the joy of salvation and peace within me.

Father forgive me of my little faith and the unrighteneous in your eyes.

Father help me not to look into the circumstances but the purpose behind. In the process of testing and trial, i will learn to look upon you and lord may you presence and power fully reveal.

Lord , i want to continue uphold my days unto your hand. Teach me to count the number of days in the earth that i may use my days wisely & abundantly to glorify your name and blessed your kingdom. Lord i thank you for your grace, love and mercy upon me.

Last, father i pray that my relationship with you will continue grow deeper, stronger and lover..

father, i miss you .... and i love you...

In the name of Jesus i pray. Amen.